Did you ever say to yourself, ‘Hey!  I wonder what it would be like if John Carpenter did Assault on Precinct 13 in outer space’.  Well, I did and apparently someone asked John too, because that’s what ‘Ghosts of Mars’ is!!

     When you look at the cover for Ghosts of Mars, you’d think that it would be a really cool movie!  Well, you’d be wrong!  What had the potential of being a pretty cool ‘zombis n space’ kinda movie, swirls downward into ‘Assault on the female cops in space’.  Ice Cube, who I usually like, is completely wasted as Demolition  Williams, the 2001 equivalent of Snake Plissken.  And don’t forget Natasha Henstridge, the naked chick from the Species movies, as the tough female cop.  She’s fully clothed and we find out here that naked is her one true talent….not acting!!  She’s essentially there to be the yin to Cube’s yang….did I just say something about Ice Cube’s yang??  Why do I feel dirty??

     Apparently, the story is about some Earth miners who find a tomb with some Martian ghosts who possess them and turn them into flesh eating, killing Marilyn Manson look alikes….a more dastardly fate I can’t imagine!  Then Ice Cube and the non-naked chick and a group of cops and crooks team up to defeat the Martian possessed Manson-ites.  Then, when they drop an atom bomb on the possessed leather wearers, they think they’ve won.  But, wait, there’s still more.  Just when we think that Henstridge is going to relax and get naked, Ice Cube shows back up and we start again!! 

     Ghosts of Mars should never have gotten off the planning board…if there was such a thing for this horrible thing!  Could someone call John Carpenter and tell him that even though he left it wide open for a sequel, we’d all appreciate it, if he’d just do another Halloween instead,  thanks.  And until next time we see what kind of atom bomb can be dropped on us videonically, remember that the best movies are bad ones!!