So, you say you want to see a movie about kids who’ve been exposed to nuclear waste until their fingernails turn black and the only way to kill them is to chop off their arms?  Then, buddy, I have the movie for you!!

     It’s called The Children, and it’s about ….well, The Children, what else?  Well, The Children are driven through a nuclear cloud by their school bus.  Now, just an aside here, if you’re a school bus driver, there’s a lesson here.  If your route goes past the local nuclear power plant, and if there’s a green cloud over the road, STOP THE BUS!!  If the driver in this movie hadn’t died, I’m sure the plot would’ve revolved around his trial by a high and mighty bus drivers tribunal and his slow descent into bus driver unemployment, as he wouldn’t be able to drive buses anywhere within the continental United States, such is the power of the bus drivers union!  But, since he does die in the green cloud, we’re forced to watch the suddenly black fingernailed Children.  Now, if their fingernails were all that was affected, this still wouldn’t be much of a movie, but there’s more, when they hug you, they burn you to death…and there’s still not much of a movie here!  But the hugging of The Children (and who doesn’t want to hug a loveable, smelly 8^th grader?) leads to many horribly overacted and equally horrible special effects laden scenes.