Reminding you that The Best Movies Are Bad Movies

For as long as there have been people, we have wondered what happens after this life.  Is there a heaven and hell?  Do we reincarnate?  But, aside from quoting lines from Monty Python songs, it is a question that has been asked throughout the ages.  Now, I don't know about you, but when I started wondering about life after death, I didn't turn to my local clergy or elders in the community.  I turned where I've learned most of my great life lessons...the movies!

So, I wandered the aisles of my local video store looking for answers to the after-life.  I looked at Poltergeist, but I'm pretty sure that Steven Speilberg doesn't have ANY answers for me!  I passed by Ghost Dad, because, let's be honest, it's Bill Cosby and if I'm learning life lessons from Bill Cosby, then it's time to take my jello pudding and head home.  Then I came across The Entity.  This movie claims to be based on the true story of a woman who was haunted and attacked by a poltergeist for her whole life.

The Entity is the story of Carla Moran, a single mom who lives a normal life, until one fateful night, when for no reason and with no warning, she's attacked and raped.  Now, this might sound like the beginning of a great revenge movie, but, wait, as they say, there's more.  The fact of the movie is that no one attacked her.  Oh, I'm not delusional, she was attacked and raped, but it was by no one, no person was there.  There are marks on her body and bruises, but there was no person in the house at the time.  In other words, she was attacked by a pervert poltergeist.

At first, Carla thinks that she may be losing touch with reality, she even goes to see psychiatrist Ron Silver, who is very helpful  in explaining that she IS in fact losing touch and needs extensive therapy.  Now, with Ron's diagnosis, Carla heads home ready to face years of intense and expensive therapy.  Then, she's attacked again, and not only is she attacked, it's in front of her kids, and one of her kids arm is broken by the poltergeist!  She now has witnesses...except that Ron's already done the diagnosis and isn't willing to change it.  He tells her that the kids are just involved in her delusions and her therapy will now take longer and will, no doubt, cost far more than originally planned.

So, it's not until Carla accidentally overhears some college paranormal researchers in the local book store that she thinks someone might believe that she's not crazy and is in fact being molested by a ghost.  And, after spending time in the house with Carla, the researchers realize that she isn't crazy, she's become the sexual plaything of a poltergeist.  So, after spending time in the house and filming and researching, our researchers build a trap to catch the ghost, but, as is the way of these things, it doesn't work and, at the end of the movie, Carla takes her kids moves back to Texas and the film tells us that, although the attacks lessened in frequency and intensity, Carla continues to be attacked to this day...well, that day in 1982 when The Entity was filmed.

The Entity is not a bad movie, in fact, if I have to watch a crappy ghost story this is one of the first ones that I would pick.  You still have the "unseen entity" aspect of all these movies, but this adds the hotness of a young Barbara Hershey, and let me tell you, in 1982, Barbara was definitely a MILF, and this was before there even was such a thing!  Overall, The Entity is a mediocre movie, the ghost is never seen, only as electricity, and there's no resolution at the end, just the crawl telling us that she's still being attacked.  

So, what have we learned?  That, if this movie is based on a true story, there IS in fact life after death and, apparently, you can be sexually active!  And because you're just a poltergeist, you can pick any hot chick you like and just have at it, what's gonna happen?  You're dead and it's hard to arrest a poltergeist for any kind of crime!  So, until next time, remember, even a ghost has needs!  And, the best movies are bad movies!