Presents

The Cottage

When you see a DVD called The Cottage, I'm sure you'd think, like I did, that this is some dumb-ass ghost movie.  The haunted cottage that makes you think you're insane.  Or the cottage that sees into your mind and brings to life your darkest fears.  You know, any of the ten thousand premises that we've seen a thousand times.  Well, this movie is way more than that and actually a pretty cool movie!

  The Cottage starts as a crime thriller.  Two losers have kidnapped the daughter of a local mob boss, now they've taken her to a rural cottage to make their ransom demands.  The trouble is that the two are brothers, one a down on his luck criminal and the other a henpecked mommas boy, don't get along and neither are as mean or disagreeable as their hostage.  Well, once the group is joined by the hostages brother (who's in on the kidnapping plot) the plot begins to fall apart.  First the money arrives and it's a duffle bag full of tissue, then, when they make a second call the cell phone winds up in a nearby pond and therefore unusable.  Then, when the hostage escapes, taking the henpecked brother as her hostage, things take a very odd turn.  It seems that, in a nearby farm, there's a disfigured farmer who's gone a bit psychotic...meaning that there's severed hands in his freezer and decapitated heads in his cellar!  Well, when the hostage takers and the farmer collide, bad (and gory) things begin to happen!!

The Cottage may be one of the best horror movies I've seen on DVD in quite a while, and don't be fooled by the cover, this is one of those movies that takes a wild left turn about three quarters of the way through and you'll love it!  I'm giving The Cottage four out of four cigars, because it's a great movie and because it has one of the coolest endings I've seen in years!  So, until next time, remember just because it's a lovely little farmhouse in the middle of a charming rural area, doesn't mean that there's not someone inside who's waiting to kill you!  And remember that the best movies are bad movies.