Presents

Jason X

You know one of the longest franshises in movie history is the Friday the 13th series?  I knew it, but most people are truly surprised when they hear that there have been nine sequels to the original classic, and most of them have been really bad movies!  And the ninth sequel is no exception to that rule.

  It's called Jason X, and it's the tenth Friday the 13th movie and the 9th featuring our hockey-masked hero, well the 8th if you count Part V, and you know I do.  Anyway, this is the latest and greatest of the Friday (solo) movies.  Jason is still out there and he's being studied by the government because he can't be killed.  You know, hasn't the movie government learned anything?  They're always studying time travel or genetic mutations or unkillable serial killer or something that starts a slaughter of biblical proportions.  Isn't it time someone campaigned against whoever the movie president is to stop this madness???  But I digress, as I will...back to business.   Jason is lured into a crygenic research facility and then frozen, but he's not dead, oh no, he's in suspended animation!  Now, flash forward about 500 years and people are looking around on the now dead Earth looking for antiques and collectibles, and what does a small research group find?  You got it, a big ugly frozen Jason-sicle.  And you can probably guess the rest, Jason thaws, co-eds have sex and then Jason kills them.  Jason is the movie world's most feared STD! 

The real heartening thing here is that, despite being in space and all the technological advancements that have been made in the 500 years since Jason's death, there's still the greedy corporations, there's still mad scientists who don't care about anything except their experiments and the teenagers, even though they're in space suits and have cool techno-games, they're still the same horny age group we know, and love, now!  So, even though Jason is a monster lost in time, he's still familiar with everything...or familiar enough to chop it to bits with his machete...or, excuse me...techno-machete!  And I won't tell you the surprise ending...let's just say, there's a set up for a sequel!  I bet you didn't see that coming!  I'm giving Jason X three and a half out of four cigars, , because if you love the Friday the 13th series as much as I do, even launched into space it doesn't lose it's charm, but if you're not a fan, or only a casual fan, then this one might be the franchise breaker for you!  So until next time, remember, if you're having unprotected, premarital sex, then you might be in for a meeting with a large, angry, machete weilding maniac and, remember that the best movies are bad movies!