Presents

Frankenhooker

If you're unfamiliar with the films of Frank Henenlotter, then you probably don't pay attention in the video store!  After all, if you can walk past a movie like Basket Case or Brain Damage without looking, then you're a better man than I, but the one that no one...and I mean no one...walks past is Frankenhooker!  If the name alone didn't stop you in your tracks, maybe the fact that you pressed a button and the tape box asked you 'Wanna Date?!' would.  While I'm a big fan of Frank Henenlotter, I'm always surprised at how many people don't know him...well, if you know what's good, then that will change for you.  And, while Basket Case is probably the quintessential Henenlotter movie, Frankenhooker is probably his best.

  Frankenhooker is the tender love story of James Franken, a young up and coming inventor, and his girlfriend, Elizabeth.  Well, when a remote control lawnmower that Franken invented for Elizabeth's father goes rogue and chops her to pieces, Franken loses his grip on reality, gathers the parts up and determines to put her back together and bring her back to life.  The problem is that, apparently, if you're ground up by a lawnmower, some of your parts aren't really re-usable!  So, needing a good source of attractive female parts to put Elizabeth back together, Franken decides to harvest some parts from...what else...hookers!

Now, he's no killer, so he doesn't want to hack apart a bunch of hookers, so he devises an evil plan.  What do hookers love more than anything?  Yep, crack.  So, Franken invents a 'super-crack' that will not only get you high, but make you explode into parts in just a couple of minutes!  So, it's off to Times Square, with his 'super-crack', to find some hookers to explode and gather his parts for Elizabeth.  The only thing he didn't think of is that being a hooker is something that's built into your DNA, because the minute he puts Elizabeth back together with the hooker parts, she up and leaves him and begins walking the streets of New York looking for a 'date'.

Frankenhooker is probably one of the funniest, yet grossest, movies made in the 90s!  It's also one of Henenlotter's best, and, with a comeback on the horizon (he'll soon be releasing Bad Biology, that seems set to give his other movies a run for their money), Frankenhooker is bound to get a little more exposure.  But, if you're smart, you'll put the kids to bed, drop this one into the DVD player and check it out, you won't be disappointed.  I'm giving Frankenhooker four out of four cigars, because, not only is this the best title in movie history, but it's a movie that lives up to the hype!  If you're not yelling 'Wanna Date?!' after seeing it, then you weren't paying attention!  So, until next time, when I'll be trying to hide all the crack and hooker parts I gathered trying to build a better woman, remember that the best movies are bad movies.