Presents

Audition

I think we all know that the J-Horror craze is almost at an end.  There are probably a few of those crappy Americanized remakes on the horizon still, but, thankfully, it seems that soon the only way to get a J-Horror fix will be rent a Japanese movie!  Well, if you're a fan of this genre, you'll know who I'm talking about when I say Takashi Miike, and, if you're one of those, then I have a great trick for you!

  Here's the trick, if you haven't seen Audition, then you've really missed one of the best horror movies ever made (and that's not an exaggeration).  Here's the story:  A business man, who lost his wife years ago, has decided to put himself back on the market.  His kids are older and going off on their own, he feels that it's time.  So, since he's been off the dating scene for so long, he asks a friend what he should do, and, since his buddy is in the television industry, he suggests an audition.  Why not bring in a few attractive young ladies and see if there are any sparks in an audition setting and save himself the problem of taking one lady at a time out to dinner?  It just makes sense!  Well, during the audition our hero finds one lady particularly attractive and begins to date her, and, for most of the movie, this is pretty nice.  That is, until we see what this girls real life is like, she's not exactly normal...and that's one of the biggest understatements of the century!

Now, here's the great trick you can play...and I've done it, and it's one of the funniest things I've done in a long time!  When you're asked by a friend to recommend a movie, you recommend Audition.  The first two thirds of the movie plays like a romance, there's no telegraphing the horror of the last ten minutes of the movie, which is really part of the greatness of this film, you never see it coming and, because what eventually comes is so horrific, the calm before makes it seem so much worse.  But, recommend it as a nice date movie, then, as your friend is relaxed and enjoys this story of a man looking for romance later in life, they think they're in for a lovely, happy ending and when they get what Audition serves up, you'll get a phone call cursing you up one side and down the other!  I've ruined several friendships this way and, honestly, I can't stop laughing!  Audition earns four out of four cigars, because, besides being creepy and freaky, it's just a great horror movie!  So, until next time, when we'll discuss other ways to ruin friendships (let's just say, closed car and many bean burritos!), remember that the best movies are bad movies!