The Corpse Grinders

Okay, let's jump into my Bad Movie Guy Time Machine and travel back through the mists of time. The year, 1971. The place, whereever they hell I was at the time. The ol' Bad Movie Guy was about 9 years old, and I vividly remember a friend telling me about this great movie. They didn't know the name, but it was about some guys who bought dead bodies and then ground them up into cat food! Well, when you're a 9 year old boy, that sounds like the coolest movie ever!

Now, flash forward to the older and slightly more mature Bad Movie Guy...emphasis on the slightly in that sentence...and here I sit in my easy chair watching this movie that I'd heard about all those years ago. The movie? The Corpse Grinders!



The story: Two bad guys, who are running a cat food factory, need to maximize profits. So, what do cats love? You got it, people! So, we start buying dead bodies from the local grave digger and putting them through a patented corpse grinding machine! The problem comes when cats in the area, who now have a taste for human flesh, begin going crazy and attacking people! Now, it's up to a local doctor and his sexy nurse to get to the bottom of the mystery. Oh yeah, they're being followed by a guy who looks strangely like a Burt Reynolds impersonator!

Now, this is exactly what you'd expect from a movie made in 1971, very little blood, no nudity and plenty of schlock! The sets all look strangely the same, the interiors must have been shot in the same house, just from different angles. When the doctor and nurse head down to the 'food adulteration agency' I nearly laughed my ass off, and then, the final blow, the corpse grinding machine appears to be nothing more than a few cardboard boxes taped together with something that appears to be the blades of a push lawnmower at one end and a faucet at the other end that shoots out cat food! This is the lowest of low budgets...but it was 1971, it was a different time and you have to remember that.

For all it's flaws, there hasn't been a movie that I've hunted up from the past that I've enjoyed more! The sheer goofiness is contagious! From the constantly changing clothes, from one scene to the next the nurses clothes just change, and then suddenly change back, to the cat attacks, which appear to be the actor holding the cat up to his throat...and what is supposed to be an attack, looks more like feline abuse, this movie doesn't let up. With the short running time of 72 minutes, it doesn't wear out it's welcome before it's over.

I'm giving The Corpse Grinders four out of four cigars,

because it's the first movie that I only heard about from my childhood that I've actually enjoyed. You should run over to netflix right now and put it in your queue! So, until next time, when I'll be wondering why my cat is looking at me so strangely, remember that the best movies are bad movies!!!