Motel Hell

When you read the tagline, "It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters!", you know you're about to see 80s horror at it's finest! Yep, after years, I sat down to watch the classic 80s movie, Motel Hell!



Now, I'm going to date myself here, but I remember seeing Motel Hell at the drive in when it was first released, probably on a double bill with some other lost 80s classic, here's the story: Farmer Vincent (played by the legendary Rory Calhoun) is famous in his region for his smoked meats, everybody comes from miles around to get some of his meat in their mouth (Sorry, I just couldn't pass that line up!). But, what makes Farmer Vincent's smoked meats so tasty? Could it be the herb and spices? Could be. Could it be some secret smoke recipe? Perhaps. Or could it be that Farmer Vincent's meats are made from any poor sap who Farmer Vincent and his warped sister, Ida (played with evil relish by Nancy Parsons), happen to run off the road and capture. That's right, Farmer Vincent doesn't just kill people and serve 'em up! No, Vincent has a recipe. Start with capturing someone who passes by, plant them in the ground up to their neck (don't forget to cut those pesky vocal cords), feed them through a tube with a special mixture of planted human food, and then harvest, butcher and smoke 'em up! It makes your mouth water just thinking about it, don't it??

Motel Hell is probably one of the few 'campy' horror movies that actually works. And it only works on the strength of Rory Calhoun and Nancy Parsons as Vincent and Ida, these two are such great actors that even when they're over-acting it's great! I'm giving Motel Hell four out of four cigars,

because this is Texas Chainsaw with a few laughs built in, it's just that good. So, until next time, when I'll serve up some more delicious morsels that I found myself, remember that the best movies are bad movies!