Live Freaky Die Freaky

As an avid viewer of the b, cult and, what's popularly known as, the bad movie I come across some very unusual stuff. Let me give you a little premise: It's the far future and in a post-apocalyptic world the only thing to survive are a few humans and a copy of Helter Skelter, and, in a bizarre twist, when the book is discovered, it's treated as a Bible, and Charles Manson becomes the god of a new future. That's a very general outline of Live Freaky Die Freaky, sounds like an interesting start of a movie? Well, if you thought that, like I did, you'd be very seriously wrong!

Live Freaky Die Freaky is basically the Helter Skelter story told with clay-mation. And while I don't mind the clay-mation, it seems that that took up most of the film makers time, not actually writing a script. The story is really just Helter Skelter, except the dialogue is changed to be "outrageous". When a movie goes for the shocking, simply to be shocking, it really doesn't work, it's not shocking, it's juvenile. It's alright to shock or scare me, and, at first I was shocked by Live Freaky Die Freaky, but once the shock wore off, I was a little bored. I saw this story before when it was a great TV movie in the 70s. The only difference in Live Freaky Die Freaky is that it seems that the writer had a huge love of dirty word. Now words don't offend me, don't think I'm being a prude here, because I'm a huge supporter and user of most of the "bad" words you can think of, it's the way they're used that offended me. It felt like a teenager who just learned these words and couldn't wait to use all of them as often as possible! That, my dear friends, is just NOT entertainment. And, not to pile on the writer here, but couldn't we have come up with a better way to disguise the names of the characters. I guess that we thought it was clever by changing the first letter of every last name to the letter 'H'. So, Charlie Manson becomes Charlie Hanson, Sharon Tate becomes Sharon Hate and so on and so on...to ultimate boredom.

Then, as if this movie weren't just bad enough, it's a musical. That's right, my friends, you read that right, Charles Manson Sings! I guess that since we hired, almost exclusively, rock stars to voice these clay-mation characters, we ought to use their real talents since we're paying them and all. But, sadly, no amount of talent could have saved this movie! I give this movie a lowly half cigar, and that cigar had probably been laying in the gutter for a week or two before being lit.



It's called Live Freaky Die Freaky and I dare you to sit through it and actually stay awake...it's just not do-able! So, until next we meet, when I'll be talking about my clay-mation movie where I'll re-do the Jeffery Dahmer story, only I'll call him Jeffery Hahmer and it'll basically be the story of a misunderstood chef, remember that the best movies are bad movies!