Frailty

I know that it's the holiday season, but, being that I HATE this time of year, I thought I'd dive back to a holiday that I actually enjoy, Halloween, and watch a movie that truly scared me. And since I've spent years desensitizing myself by viewing and re-viewing horror movies, it's a great thrill when I come across that rare movie that can still send a chill up my spine and get me to jump in surprise. And this is one of those movies that will not only scare you, but leave you thinking when you leave it. Now, normally, I'm not a fan of thinking, in any form, but for Frailty, I'm going to make an exception.

Now, I know you're going to think that I'm a stooge for any kind of movie made in or about Texas, since I'm a huge fan of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but that doesn't really enter into this. Frailty, while set in Texas, is a horror movie with a different twist, it has all the ear-marks of your run of the mill slasher movie, but it adds in a level of the supernatural that makes this more than a horror movie while maintaining the chills and horror that I so love. This is the story of Bill Paxton and his two sons. Bill is a single, working class father who is just trying to get by, when one day an angel visits him at work and tells him that he's a great warrior and will be called on to kill demons that are walking the earth among us doing great evil. Now, here's the catch the demons look like regular people to everyone except Bill. So, we're not really sure if he's a killing demon or if he's just killing people. Now before you start on me, this isn't just a Bill Paxton running around killing people, although that wouldn't be that bad. This is really the story of a father, who we assume is somehow mentally ill or disturbed in some way and the affect that that has on the kids he's raising.

You see, of the two sons, the younger one believes in his father absolutely and is ready to be a super hero for God, but the older son is pretty sure that dear old dad has lost a couple of pancakes off the short stack, if you know what I mean, and is willing to go along with the killing demons routine until dear old dad actually shows up one night with a person who he says is a demon, but looks to us and his sons like a normal everyday person. You see, the demons look like normal people until Bill lays his hands on them and then he can see them for what they really are. Now, this is where it starts getting weird and uncomfortable. As the audience we've been asked to identify with the kids and when Bill uses the axe that God gave him for demon killing, we don't get to see the axe strike the 'demon', we are forced to watch two young boys, who are watching their dad hack someone apart with an axe. Now, this might sound a little lightweight, but it's a little more unsettling to watch the kids than it would be to see what Bill's doing with his axe.

Now, while we're hearing the story of Bill and his two kids hunting demons and killing them, we're also watching a story about Matthew McConaughey, who is one of Bill Paxton's kids all grown up, telling an FBI agent the story of the God's Hand Killer, who has been randomly killing people for years without being caught. Now, Matthew believes that this serial killer is his brother who has taken up the mantle of their father and is out 'killing demons'. This may sound like a convoluted and confusing story, but this is one of the most intense horror movies I've ever seen. The stories blend together very well and you're not sure exactly where it's going until the end and then there's a twist ending that will leave you wondering if what you've just seen was a fantasy or if it's all real. It's a great horror movie that doesn't rely on the standard horror movie devices to get the scare. It's a horror movie, but it's a whole lot more than that too. It's called Frailty and I give it my highest rating of four buring cigars, because it's well written and I actually found it re-watchable (so many of these kinds of movies aren't!).

So, until the next time we meet, when I'll spin you the tale of the Bad Movie Guy Killer, it seems that Godzilla appeared to him and told him to kill giant spiders and moths, remember that the best movies are bad movies!

It Lives Again and Island Of The Alive

Do you like the sequels? Well, for the most part, they suck, I think we can all agree on that, can't we? But, if you're like me (and God help you if you are!!), then you're going to watch them anyway. I guess it's an off-shoot of my collecting gene, I've got to complete the set! Well, most of the time, the sequels don't live up to the original, but in the case of the It's Alive sequels, they do...almost.

The first sequel, It's Alive 2: It Lives Again, pretty much picks up where the original left off. Frank Davis (who was Davies in the original) is searching for more of the mutant babies and trying to save them before the government can get there to kill them. Apparently, the government is contacting doctors who have pregnant patients and having them secretly test them for the 'It's Alive' syndrome! If the mother is going to have a mutant, then a task force is sent in when the mother goes into labor to make sure that the baby is killed before it can escape, like it did in the first movie. After his change of heart, at the end of the original, Frank is trying to save as many mutant babies as he can, why? We're not really sure, I guess it's just a humanitarian kind of thing. This movie reminded me a lot of the end of Escape From The Planet Of The Apes. The government is trying to catch and kill the mutant babies, a small group of humanitarians are trying to save them and it's a mad race to see who will be first! Where this first sequel goes right is basically the same as the original, it doesn't try to over-reach itself with special effects. The babies were obviously difficult to make at that time, so instead of putting some half-assed thing of screen, most of the time we only hear the mutant killer babies. And when we do see them, it's either from a distance or only a quick glimpse, so it still works. This first sequel gets a solid three cigars, for picking up from the first movie and then having a strong story with a strong ending!





The third movie isn't that lucky! Made in 1987, as part of a deal with writer/director Larry Cohen to do the sequel to Salem's Lot. It's Alive 3: Island Of The Alive features a lot of the cast from the Salem's Lot sequel. This sequel features Michael Moriarty as the father of one of the mutant babies who is in court fighting for the right of his child to NOT be killed by the government. For those Law And Order fans out there, it's fun to see Michael so young and on the other side of the court...but that's a different story! Well, Mike wins his court-room battle and his killer mutant baby is taken with several others to a deserted island where they will be allowed to live out their killer mutant lives. Now, how babies, even killer mutant babies, as supposed to survive on an island with nothing on it, doesn't seem to worry the government too much, so it's kind of like a killer mutant baby Guantanamo. Shortly after the babies are stranded, we see a rich guy, and we know he's a rich guy because he's wearing expensive hunting clothes and has a helicopter. And this rich guy has decided to wipe out the killer mutant babies. Why you ask? Well, it turns out he's a rich drug company executive and his drugs are what caused the killer mutation! This is the first time we've heard any kind of explanation as to why these babies are mutated. I guess, it's like an 80s version of 'crack babies'! Well, five years pass and some scientists decide that they'd like to see how those killer mutant exiles are doing, so off we go with Mike in tow, mostly because he's an 'expert', although he's working in a shoe store after the five years has passed, I guess in his spare time he's been studying killer mutations. Well, once on the Island where the babies were stranded, the babies, now the size of grown ups, even though they're only five, begin killing everyone, except Mike. Now, don't think they don't kill Mike because he's all warm and fuzzy, they need someone to work the boat they came on, because, like those dudes on Lost, the killer mutant babies just want off the damned island! Well, once at sea, the babies apparently figure out how to work the boat after all, and they throw Mike overboard on a door, and it's at this point that a weird, weird movie, gets weirder! The babies are heading for Florida, where Mike's ex-wife and the mother of one of the killer mutant babies lives, and Mike ends up drifting off to Cuba. The babies reach a local boardwalk and begin stalking their mother, and in the process fight your standard issue 80s gang...you know, there's the one with the Mohawk, the one with the leather vest, and then there's the leader, who has a couple of earrings and no sleeves on his shirt, you've seen them, they did a bunch of movies in the 80s! Well, for some reason, the Cubans bring Mike to Florida, and in record time I might add, and Mike starts looking for his ex, to save her. This movie ends with a "titanic" battle between the police and the killer mutant 5 year olds, which is neither titanic nor much of a battle! It seems that the babies have stated having babies and they want their grandma to take care of it, because they're all dying from measles. So, we've now gone from Escape From The Planet Of The Apes into War Of The Worlds territory, with very little transition. Island Of The Alive feels like a thrown together movie that was made because they could sell it to the drive-ins of the time as a second feature! It has none of the originality or the heart of the first two, and it forgot that less is more and we actually see the mutant babies this time, first as stop motion animation and then as guys in giant killer mutant baby paper mache heads! It's truly awful and for that I give it a lonely, un-lit half a cigar!





So, if you liked the first It's Alive, go ahead and check out It's Alive 2: It Lives Again, but unless you've got waaaaayyy too much time on your hands, keep off the beaches of It's Alive 3: Island Of The Alive! And until next time when I'll explain where killer mutant babies come from (here's a hint, there's a killer mutant stork involved), remember that the best movies are bad movies!!

It's Alive!

Ah, the 70s. That time of bell bottoms, afros, cool FM radio, and bad horror movies of all kinds. Now, it seems like when we look back at any 70s movie, they're either exploitation movies, where blood flows for relatively little reason or they're the 'made for TV' style where we're not showing anything for any reason. Well, I think I found one that falls somewhere in between and is actually a movie worth seeing!

It's called It's Alive and it's clearly the Rosemary's Baby of the B Movie genre, with one exception, this movie is actually scary in places, Rosemary's Baby never gets scary. And the two movies differ in one other respect too, in this movie, you actually get to see the monster baby! That's always been a pet peeve of mine, naming the movie after the monster, and then, never letting us see the damned monster!!! At it's core, It's Alive is an environmental movie. For some reason, that's blamed on the smog in Los Angeles mostly, a mutant baby is born to Frank and Lenore Davies. The mutant is not even out of his mother for a minute before he's on a killing spree. The baby kills almost everyone in the delivery room! In his defense, they were using the foreseps on his head, and that would really cheese anyone off, but to kill that many people shows a huge lack of restraint!

After his initial killing spree, the baby flees the hospital and starts making his way across the city, where he's going, no one's sure. Well, after a couple more killings and an hour later, we realize that the baby's heading home. Now, this might just sound like another really crappy 70s horror flick, and for the most part, you'd be right, but there's something more to this.

The stars, John P. Ryan and Sharon Farrell, are real actors, you'll recognize them and they can actually act! Something that's pretty uncommon in the genre movies of the time. Second, the monster is seen, but only in glimpses. It seemed like, the director or producer, someone, had the good sense to say, if this thing can't look completely cool all the time, let's just give people a taste and let their imaginations do the rest, rare clear thinking from the movie makers of the time!!!

It's Alive is classic 70s Drive In fare, and it's well worth taking a look at. Well written, good acting and special effects from the, then up and coming, Rick Baker, it's 70s horror at it's finest! I give this a solid three cigars, it's worth your time and money. So, until the next time, when I'll disclose my past as a killer mutant mongoloid baby, remember, the best movies are bad movies!

The Devil's Rejects

After the horror that was House Of 1000 Corpses, I was a bit afraid to watch The Devil's Rejects. Not because House was such a frightening movie, but just the opposite! House Of 1000 Corpses, while having one of the best horror movie titles of all time, is also one of the least scary horror movies ever made. In fact, after seeing House in the theatre, I refused to see Rejects until it came to DVD, I just couldn't bear to waste another $10 on a bad movie, when I could waste a mere $3, and I almost wept openly when leaving the theatre after seeing House Of 1000 Corpses, after hearing the younger generation saying that this was the scariest thing they'd ever seen! "NO!!!!", I wanted to scream, "What kind of horror movies do you people watch nowadays?!" House Of 1000 Corpses is one of those movies that has all kinds of promise and then lives up to none of it. It was basically a music video dressed up with some horror movie elements, but scary, not even close to the neighborhood of scary!

So, you see my trepidation when approaching The Devil's Rejects. I expected more of the same. But, I'm not above saying that I was wrong. The Devil's Rejects is far superior to it's predecessor. It takes all the promise of the original and lives up to it. Now that being said, this is not your familiar horror movie, this is closer to an action/horror movie, but it's still worth your three dollars.

The Devil's Rejects picks up shortly after the original House Of 1000 Corpses. The brother of the sheriff killed in the original is our for revenge on the evil Firefly family, which turns the sequel into more of a revenge/chase movie than a horror movie. There are still elements of horror here, the Firefly's are just as insane as they were in the first, they just seem to have more direction. The basic story here is the Firefly's running from the law, and the law crossing the line to get to them until we're not sure who's the bad guys and who are the good guys. At first we sympathize with the sheriff looking to avenge his brother, then after a while, the sheriff seems darker and more menacing than the evil he's pursuing. It's a very well put together movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat, without resorting to the tired cliches of the first movie, and the first movie didn't really use those cliches all that well!

I give The Devil's Rejects a solid three and a half fully burning cigars for Rob Zombies ability to identify the weak parts of the original and get rid of them in the sequel. If you haven't seen them, these two movies would make great afternoon of 'lying on the couch' viewing. So, until the next time we meet when I'll be pulling teenagers off the street and showing them true horror movies, just as a teaching tool, remember that the best movies are bad movies!

Random Thoughts From A Psychotic Mind...Mine!

For those of you who have known me a while, you'll remember back in the psychoticmind.com days, I didn't just talk about movies, I talked about anything that poped into my demented head. I thought we'd revisit those glory days every once in a while with a short commentary about crap that's on my mind.

This time the thing that's on my mind is Detroit, specifically, people bashing Detroit. Recently the Sacremento Kings had to apologize and pay a $30,000 fine because of a video which showed "derogatory images of Detroit" which included "pictures of abandoned buildings, burned-out cars, piles of rubble and other negative images". Well, as someone who drives through the city on a regular basis, this is what's down there!!! I get really sick and tired of people not being able to tell the truth about anything because you might hurt someone's feelings.

I live on the outskirts of Detroit, as most people in the area do, and I have to tell you, I can count on one hand how many times I have been into the city, for something other than work, in the past year, yet for some reason, I'm not supposed to acknowledge out loud that the city is a pit and has been since the 60s!

Last year, Jimmy Kimmel got heat for making Detroit jokes, now the Maloof brothers have to pay a fine, all for making jokes about a city that has been, mostly a vacant burned out wreck for as long as I can remember! So, here's hoping that the next time anyone bashes Detroit, they have the backbone to stand up and say, first, it's a damn joke, get a sense of humor, Detroit and second, if it wasn't true then you wouldn't scream so loud about it!!!

So, here's todays:

Rule From Brian
If it's a joke, and it's funny, then shut the hell up! Because, Detroit, there's an old saying, "I think thou doest protest too much", you should look that up and think about it...oh wait, we're talking about the city of Detroit here, so find a friend to read it to you, okay???

So, until the next time we meet, remember one of my favorite sayings, "Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck!"

High Tension

I have spent the past thirty or forty years desensitizing myself to horror movies. I've seen gore, splatter, slasher, you name it, I've seen it! So, when I come across a horror movie that can actually surprise me with a twist, it's really done something! And that actually happened with High Tension!

High Tension seems on the surface to be your basic girls fight a psychotic killer movie, but there's a bit more to this movie than that. I'd love to tell you about the ending of this, but I wouldn't want to ruin it for you. Suffice it to say that this is one of the best written movies I've seen in a long time.

On the surface this is your typical slasher fare. A young family, living in the backwoods of France (who knew France had a backwoods?!?), when late one night a truck pulls up, a large man rings the bell and when the father answers the door, he is promptly killed. The psycho then goes through the house and kills the wife, hunts down a small boy and takes as a hostage the college age daughter. The one thing he doesn't notice is that the daughter brought home a friend who's been hiding from him. Well, I'm not going to get too specific here, but let's say that this turns into as tight a thriller as The Hitcher.

High Tension is probably the only French Film that you'll ever hear me talk about, so I can now claim myself to be one of those foreign film snobs! 'Yes, I enjoy French film. You don't??' It's High Tension and if you see the twist ending coming, then you're a better man than I, and that's why I give it my highest rating of four burning cigars! So, until next time when I'll reveal that my mother's been in the basement for the past twenty years and I've been dressing as her during the day...Oh, wait...My mother's not dead, why am I dressing like her again??? Well, just remember, the best movies are bad movies!

Die Sister, Die...wait, I mean, Die Movie, Die!!!

Has a movie ever made you homicidal?? No? So, I'm completely alone in this? Fine! Well, I have to admit that Die Sister, Die had me screaming, Die DVD Player, Die!! This is one of the dumbest things I've seen in years. Actually, it's little more than a TV movie dressed up for a video release.

Die Sister, Die is the classic tale of rich people who will kill each other over an inheritance. Sound familiar? Well, it should, this has been a staple in the 'twilight zone-ish' stories since the invention of television. And Die Sister, Die covers no new ground. And take a look at the poster up above there, does that look great? Well, it's a lesson in not judging a book, or DVD in this case, by it's cover. What's on the DVD cover has NOTHING to do with what's in the movie.

So, what looks like it might be a mildly interesting horror flick turns into a sub-par Night Gallery rip off, at best! So, this movie gets my lowest rating of all, a half cigar, because we all know that a half cigar isn't even worth smoking! So, until the next time remember not to judge books or DVD's by their cover and that the best movies are bad movies.

Matinee Of The Macabre!

That's right kiddies, the roundtable review, Matinee Of The Macabre has been posted. Over under link, travel to Rogue Roundtables and it's in there, just look around, what are you, lazy?? Go over there now!!!

A DVD With A Little Flair!

What can be said about Office Space that hasn't been said over and over. Um, yeah. I just got the Special Edition Office Space DVD with most of the bells and whistles that I wanted. I really wanted the version with all of Mike Judge's animations of Milton, but what are you going to do. There's still 8 deleted scenes and a half hour documentary on the movie, and that's all well worth the price of admission!

If you haven't seen Office Space, then you're missing one of the funniest movies EVER! If you don't see the people you work with in this movie then I want a job where you work!!! If you look in my archives, there's a more complete review of the movie, but I'd highly recommend this new release!

The New Rogue Cinema Is Here!!!

After hours and hours of tireless work, our intrepid editor, Duane Martin, has once again put out a beautiful issue! Now, that might sound a bit sarcastic, but I assure you it's not. Duane works some of the longest hours online that I've ever seen just getting Rogue Cinema ready for everyone out there. You should really drop on over to http://www.roguecinema.com and check it out. Besides your ever-lovin' Bad Movie Guy, there's articles on Giant Monsters (Kaiju to you uninformed out there), Tor Johnson, Dario Argento and reviews of movies like, 13 Seconds, KISS Meets The Phantom of the Park, Blood Freak, Combat Shock and so many more. So, as much as I hate to show you the door, why are you not there yet??!! Get to steppin'! Over to http://www.roguecinema.com!